Recovery
by anka9657
Summary: They were just children before but the war forced them to grow up too soon. The horrors that they experienced can break and destroy any sane adult and yet they are still expected to carry on. And they do. Will they recover or will they be forever constrained by grief? Their lives crossed before, and Fate entwined them again in their path to recovery. Full summary inside. ShikaTema
1. Summary

**Summary**

Victorious wars end with happiness and euphoria after the despair and tears. But not this one ...

Shikamaru and Temari were just children, but the events prior to and the actual Fourth Shinobi War forced them, and everybody else from their generation, to grow up too soon. They never experienced teen years and were overridden with responsibilities from a young age. The horrors that they experiences can break and destroy any sane adult and yet they are still expected to carry on. And they do. But the question is whether they will fully recover from the experiences of war? Or will they forever be disabled by their memories and grief? Their lives have crossed before, and Fate entwined them again in their path to recovery. Will another attempt of Fate's to bring them together work, or will they push each other away?


	2. Prologue

**Prologue**

Tents of all kinds were thickly set up in long rows, abolishing any sense of private space. The once white cloth was now dirtied and bloodied; sometimes even shredded and ripped at the bottom. The opened flaps fluttered freely in the air as if willing their users to enjoy the newly acquired security. However, walking along the main path of the camp would evoke sympathy in any outsider. Moans and cries accompanied by occasional screams could be heard from the depths of the camp. Since the end of the last battle of the Fourth Shinobi War all medical nin have been busy tending to the wounded. But there wasn't enough of them to save all. The heavy copper smell with a hint of sweetness hung in the air, forcing the passerby's to hold their breath. More than once someone run out of a tent with a sickened expression while gagging. Nurses would step out from time to time, taking the long deserved breaks. More often than not, their hands would be covered by blood, shaking , and their eyes would carry a dull look. Many would take a couple of deep calming breaths before going back inside.

The bodies of the fallen were collected at the outskirts of the camp. Having been washed and redressed, the deceased could now be visited by their comrades. Some nins could not bear to see their loved ones and comrades dead. Others, needing closure, decided to visit. The sight was horrific; just like the tents in the camp, the corpses were laid out one next to another in rows. There was a lack of privacy, too. Headbands and clothing from all over the world could be seen as ninjas shifted among the dead. Often, they laid keepsakes, flowers or kneeled next to a comrade who came from another village. Perhaps that's the only good that came from the war. Slowly as time passed the bodies were transported to their villages and families. Like other wars this one also had its own secret - the lives of innocents. Children, barely chunins, fell in the war during their heroic act after joining the official shinobi forces.

The camp itself was organised as well as any village, but the atmosphere was that of a prison. The despair of the soldiers was so great that no one could think of happiness. New faces arrived each day, but reunions were stiff and cheerless. Even Naruto's bubbly personality was suffocated by the heavy air and he mourned the losses of his comrades, friends – his family. Was winning worth more than the pain acquired? The feeling of remorse accompanied by depression occasionally overcame the soldiers, pushing them to take their own lives. Such tragedies were an unfortunately common occurrence at the camp. In attempt to avoid complete breakdown, schedules were formed. Each nin had eating times, washing times and sleeping times, along with his or hers main chore. Whilst this seemed heartless, it helped many to pull through. They had something to look forward to and a job that took their mind off of the painful memories. But the tasks were still carried out almost indifferently – numbly so to say. It didn't matter how much they tried to forget because everything kept coming back. It always would.

* * *

Hello everyone.

This will be my very first fanfiction so please be patient :)

I know the prologue doesn't give away anything about the story itself, but I wanted to give a little introduction to how everyone is dealing with the war and roughly what's going on. Please, look at this as a little introduction to the changes that occurred and will occur in the characters and the whole Naruto world.


	3. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Roughly in the middle of the base camp stood the meeting tent. It was more secluded and private, at least as far as privacy went in such a busy place. It served as headquarters to the Kages and their closest advisors. However, right now everybody has retired for the night, except Shikamaru. Evenings were his preferred time of the day at this point. He sat outside at the back of the tent on wooden log – his new favourite spot. It was quiet and as he looked up he could see the beautifully rounded moon that shone brightly and beamed down onto the ground giving the tents a luminous glow. The soil was just beginning to give off the loamy, dampening smell and the cool, soothing breeze swept across his skin. It's at times like these that he could finally relax and clear his head while his revived sensations stirred hope in him for the upcoming day.

He could occasionally hear a cough, a moan or a sound of soil crunching under somebody's weight in the distance. It would tear him away from his thoughts but after a moment of concern he would return to his ritual pondering. Tonight his thoughts were infected by the chore that he was assigned to do in two days – being part of the rescue team. Most ninjas were required to carry out this duty, and while this wouldn't be his first time, it was still as unwelcome. If Shikamaru ever voiced such an opinion out loud, outside the barriers of the meeting tent, most people would probably misunderstand. It's not that he was uncaring – he cared a great deal and wasted hours upon hours of sleep on worry for any missing and presumed-dead nin. On the other hand, his rational part of the brain knew that since no one missing has shown up to the camp with their hearts beating for the past two days or so, it wasn't likely that they would in the future. Unfortunately it was probably too late for them.

He was once again ripped away from his considerations when he heard low murmurs coming from the front of the tent. The flap opened. And then closed. The voices now became louder and too hard to ignore. Not happy about the interruption to his peaceful evening, he certainly wasn't about to go and investigate who it was – her had a good idea though. Just a while later the flap at the back of the tent opened letting out a dim glow of light and the female part of the Sand Siblings stepped out. She was dirtied and bruised with some scrapes on her arms and legs none of which seemed fresh. She breathed in deeply and looked into the starry sky.

"I've seen you around lately. You're looking quite involved there, helping the Hokage" said Temari after a long period of silence. She didn't want a conversation in particular. In fact she hoped for a quiet moment outside just by herself but seeing the leaf nin's relaxed figure somehow compelled her to talk. Unconsciously she hoped for a moment of peace too and perhaps he could aid her in finding one.

Temari has been in and out of the camp constantly, so Shikamaru's proclamation that he hasn't seen her around, was not very surprising. She spent most of her time looking for any survivors; her sensei in particular. She hasn't seen Baki in weeks, but neither has anybody else which really put her on edge. She needed to get out of the camp because staying there suffocated her and clouded her mind with worst of thoughts. It was hope and anticipation of finding someone that kept her going.

Her eyes became glossy and she chewed on her lower lip, while her left hand softly fumbled with the hem of her shirt. To any average person, she would've looked nervous. But Shikamaru knew that she wasn't there right now. She was far away in the past maybe a couple of hours, days or maybe months. She was worried. He wasn't going to involve himself in this, she was strong and doing anything would be too troublesome. Instead he pulled out a cigarette from his vest pocket and a lighter. He placed the cigarette in his mouth having a taste as his thumb gently stroked the flint wheel, until he gave the action more force. The sparks flew, the flame came to life and played with the end of the cigarette. The scraping sound of the wheel turning snapped Temari's attention back to the kid next to her. She watched him with mild fascination thinking of when he picked up the bad habit. "You shouldn't be smoking at this age kid" the words left her mouth before she could even think about them, "You never know when it'll kill you". Silence followed.

Shikamaru didn't give much thought to what she said, but wondered how long has it been since he had a conversation about nothing. Something that he would have considered too troublesome just months before, now seemed like the biggest pleasure in life. His brain was numbed and tricked into believing that everything was like usual. Temari felt the same way. Even the lack of reply from him didn't bother he. She made a quick note not to take light conversations for granted in the future. The comfortable silence between them was just like year before when he would escort her around the Leaf.

The breeze from before was picking up almost taking on the wind like quality. The cold was becoming more noticeable too. Temari shivered lightly, goose bumps covering her exposed arms and legs. Shikamaru got up and briskly brushed down his trousers. For the first time Temari noticed the light stubble covering his chin and his broadened shoulders as he stood taller than her. The small scar under his left eye must have been acquired just recently since the flesh around it still had the pinkish quality. He inhaled the poisonous smoke for the last time and flicked the half burned cigarette on to the ground crashing it with his foot. He made a half turn and headed back to his tent.

"Don't push yourself." said Temari in a rather soft tone as a form of goodbye. Shikamaru paused and said "You too". But before he turned the corner leading to the main road, Temari heard a light whisper "Dying...troublesome". She smiled at the overly late reply to her previous remark. The cry-baby that she met as a child has certainly retained his good qualities which made her smile just slightly. He was trying hard to keep the indifferent face up as he carried out some of the most important duties in the camp even if it went against his beliefs and personality. She admired that in him. The strength that he showed during the war was not about to be forgotten. Thinking about the good things, through association, leads to thinking of the bad and Temari painfully remembered that he also went though horrible experiences. She let out a light sob but before her eyes tuned glossy, she turned and walked away from the tent. She headed to her own bed down the road opposite of where Shikamaru went. She decided to bath tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The night changed into day too quickly. The sun lazily rose on the horizon and sunbeams were cast in every direction illuminating the camp. The warm glow was only so visually, because the fresh morning air was crispy and cold. The autumn fog begun to clear and dew settled on patches of grass.

True to her word, Temari bathed today before anyone woke up. She could still feel the cold water that cascaded down her back just hours ago making her shiver all over again. She missed the warm baths, dry air and hot days that awaited back at Suna.

The Kage meeting was scheduled for today with the main topic being that of returning to the villages. Ideally, everyone would be gone in maximum of three months. So, instead of heading out early in the morning, Temari had to stay and make her way across the camp to the meeting tent. She happened to be one of the last to enter because after her only the Hokage and Shikamaru arrived. The meeting commenced.

The Kages spoke on many different topics, none of which interested her much. Reports were presented and information from the villages relayed. Shikamaru spoke too but she didn't pay attention to him either. However, the assembly came to the main topic very soon. They spoke over one another, trying to all get their opinions across. Once they quietened down, realising that they were getting nowhere, Shikamaru spoke. "We should not have to remain here for another couple of months. The whole camp should be shut down within one month at the very maximum." Murmurs picked up around the room. "Why do you think so boy?" the Tsuchikage challenged.

"No survivors have been recovered in the past two days, I can guarantee that this will be the case today, tomorrow and for all the days following. It has been far too long for anyone to still be alive. Furthermore, there are only two more battlefields where the bodies of our fallen comrades are being recovered. There is no point in wasting resources, time and man-power on an utterly lost and pointless..." he didn't manage to finish as Temari got up and slammed her palms on the table in front of her. Her heated glare, focused solely on Shikamaru, was not surprising.

"You cannot say that. We don't know whether they are all dead, and we can't assume so. There maybe people out there that need our help. While, you, are suggesting we should give up on them" she proclaimed in a surprisingly controlled manner. "Temari, sit" Gaara scolded. And she did since she was not about to disgrace the Kazekage. But she again did something unconsciously around Nara. She failed to think of her position and reacted emotionally, something that she scolded herself for without Gaara reprimanding her.

As Shikamaru opened his mouth ready to continue talking, sharp shouts for Temari were heard. A chunin burst into the tent.

"Temari-san, we found Baki-sama! We found..." his voice drifted off as he noticed all the Kages and shinobi around. Temari raised from her seat and exited the tent, following the young chunin, but not before casting a look at the younger boy she challenged just seconds ago.

The quick rush of happiness filled her whole soul but drifted away as soon as she got a hold on the situations. Dread filled her stomach. Indeed Baki was found, but not how she expected. He was motionless and stiff. His skin once coloured like caramel, now had a greyish tint. Nonetheless he looked peaceful with his eyes closed and porcelain like skin. The sick feeling in her stomach was overwhelming, but on the outside she kept her cool. Kankuro, in attempt to comfort his sister, placed a warm large hand on her shoulder. And Gaara, who should have been the least involved of them all, kneeled next to the body of his sensei and folded his arms across his chest. The body was picked up by medical nin minutes later which didn't give the siblings even time for grief or get accustomed to the situation.

Temari felt all her emotions leaving her at that moment. She no longer felt sick nor sad, she didn't feel the cold and the smell of sweat, and blood that surrounded the camp didn't bother her. the three walked back and as they re-entered the tent, the Fifth spoke up offering that the meeting could be moved. "Kazekage, you and your siblings can take a break. We all need one from time to time." He refused.

The blonde kunoichi held her head high like she always did in such situations, 'Unlike some of my peers' she though as her eyes drifted to the Nara boy. The sudden annoyance that she felt towards him was driven by the need to blame somebody. She was disappointed and angry at herself for hoping. She was irritated because she knew deep down that what he said was true. Shikamaru was looking straight back at her with his coal dark eyes but didn't show any signs of smugness or the I told you so expression like she expected.

She realised that her irritation was misplaced. He was doing his best to lead in the way that benefitted everybody. He couldn't even think of himself. Shikamaru has certainly taken his newly acquired responsibilities with seriousness. His focus was better, he wasn't looking around the tent or rolling his eyes. She noticed that instead he was attentively looking at the speakers, interrupting from time to time. He was engaged. But he wasn't alive as she told him to be just at the beginning of war - the black of his eyes was too hard and too sullen.

* * *

It was around noon when the meeting ended and the sun shone strongly in the sky above. Temari loitered around the tent as she didn't feel particularly ready to do anything. She also wasn't ready enough to see Baki. Before she realised, everyone went their ways and she remained alone with Shikamaru, who still despite the meeting ending, was analysing papers.

He, however, could feel the slight tingle on the side of his face. He looked up to see Temari staring at him while biting into an apple. Slowly putting his pen down, he returned her look.

"I'm sorry" he said. "About your sensei." It was abrupt and very out of place in the silence they created. "I'm fine. It's alright because he died bravely in battle. It is the honour of the ninja that matters." Temari replied, catching herself before she begun to ramble. Yet, despite her words her chewing slowed as the food seemed to have grown in her mouth.

"You don't always have to be strong, you know. Like the Fifth said, people need a break sometime." His sensible voice spread around the enclosed space calling out to her sub-consciousness, willing her to break down. She swallowed the bile that built up and her eyes glossed over just like the evening before. This time she couldn't stop herself from choking on a sob. The impassive mask that she carried cracked and tears poured out of her eyes.

It honestly wasn't part of Shikamaru's intention to reduce his friend to tears; he truly wanted her to let go of the pain that she was holding inside. If she continued it would only become worse as he experienced firsthand at the time of Asuma's death. The situation was deteriorating quickly plus he really didn't want to bother with this. But she was his friend after all. He got up planning to comfort her – how, he didn't know yet, but he was planning. Just as he approached her, she fell to her knees with her fists covering her eyes.

"Come on, stop. It'll be okay, I guess. You don't have to cry." He patted her shoulder blade. "Really..." he begun as but heard her mumble something inaudible. "What?" he asked hoping to understand. She repeated it again but it was still muffled. Realising that his silence meant he still didn't get it she looked up, tears still streaming down her face but with a slight smile, "I said I'm not a cry-baby like you." She hiccupped. "That wasn't so incomprehensible, was it?" Slightly taken aback by her change in expression at first, he also cracked a smile at the memory.

Temari begun drying her tears off and moved herself towards the closest chair. She had to admit she felt better – more alive. Surprisingly, she also didn't feel that bad about breaking down in front of somebody. It may have been just because it was Shikamaru and not any other individual, but she wasn't going to admit that.

"Geez, I shouldn't have mentioned that. Are you alright now?" he asked.

"Nara, you should seriously grow a backbone and stop apologizing." she replied with a smirk. He was in fact about to tell her that, no he was not apologizing but simply stating a statement, since that what statements do, but she spoke again before he had a chance. "Shikamaru you better stay quiet about this you know. I've saved your ass too many times to have you gossiping about me behind my back". The threat sounded quite comical when looking at her reddened face, but he did nod his head.

"So, what have you been scribbling there before?" Temari asked as she pointed towards his papers.  
"Stuff" that he wasn't about to explain to her.

"Oh, give in kid. Tell me. I could help." 'Not a chance' he thought.

"You are being horribly cheerful right now considering you were crying 5 minutes before...", she gave him a reprimanding glare, " – are you having a mental breakdown? I could get Sakura for...".the speech cut off as he felt her hand impact with the back of his head.

"Tch. If I remember correctly you're supposed to be on the recovery team today. Why don't you go help them out." Right now all previous sympathies were forgotten as he was not planning to spend any more time with this troublesome woman. He just needed everyone to go; the clouds seemed nice in the morning and perhaps he could still catch some time to watch them.

"I can't. It's suffocating. All of this is – the camp, the people, the bodies. There is not a palace that's private and we're forced into a routine. Does that not bother you? What's more is the depressive aura that surrounds this place. Everyone moans and complains and whines. Maybe everything would have been more bearable if we could go back to our villages instead of being forced to stay here. The longer we stay here, the longer the memories we acquired will remain fresh. These people are so weak and unable to deal!"

"Temari, they're just grieving. Just like you were when you cried. They're not as strong as you, not as independent and they can't put on an indifferent mask. You have to understand." He felt like gagging as the words left his mouth. He really wasn't good at this stuff.

"Tch, well have fun with the paperwork kid. I'm off to help Gaara." 'He grew' was the last thought that she had when exiting the tent. And she left but not to find her brother. Instead her legs led her straight to see Baki perhaps because she felt slightly better after the kid's little speech.

Meanwhile, Shikamaru's gaze remained on the entrance for a long while after she left, thinking of what has happened. They were good acquaintances, close friends but never has she broken down like that in front of him. His eyes wondered around the room, debating what was more important: clouds or paperwork. He fixed his eyes on the half eaten apple on the table. After throwing it in the trash he wondered why she picked the rotten one after looking at the apples in the basket.

Having decided on rarerwork Shikamaru sat down with his pen ready once more. Once he came across a document signed by his father it cut his engagement with the task much quicker than expected. Shikamaru leaned back in his chair, balancing on the back legs, as he lost himself to the memories of his father. He could still remember it like it was yesterday when he played shogi with his dad just outside the back of the main house. His back was warm from the summer sun, his hands calm and steady as his brain worked an all the possible moves. The scent of the Nara forest calmed him as the warm wind brushed the baby hair on his forehead.

A shaky breath left his lungs. He was to be on the rescue team tomorrow – what a drag.

Temari was not the only one that was desperate to go home.

* * *

The next day was uneventful. Temari spent her time helping out Gaara and Kankuro with a multitude of monotonous tasks. All three needed to accept the passing of their sensei, even if they didn't want to show it.

The first half of the day wasn't much different for Shikamaru. He spent most of his time treading through a battlefield that was already 'cared for' and just needed his inspection. No more survivors and no more dead – he wasn't sure whether he should think that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Shikamaru was just on his way back to the camp when voices reached his ears. While regular fighting shinobi were not forced to remain in the camp, they were supposed to report to no other but Shikamaru himself about their whereabouts. If his brain wasn't failing him, then he could be sure that no one informed him about leaving the camp today afternoon.

He headed towards the voices, which he could now recognize as two females, that were coming from behind a medium sized rock. The very first word that he heard when in close range was Temari's name. Curious as to who and what they could be saying. He paused and waited to hear the further conversation.

"... she must be extremely upset about that. I don't think I would deal so well if she died." The first voice said.

"True, she's so amazing. I want to become like her when I grow older." the second said.

The first voice then continued, "But you know she must really like him.."

"What, who?" asked the confused second voice.

"The Leaf's genius - Shikamaru Nara. She did after all turn down Daimaru. I mean, I know he was dead, but she could have given him a chance. She can be so cruel sometimes."

"But do you think they would ever work. I heard that he took over the job of the Hokage's advisor, he's always busy too, while Temari-san can be very demanding."

Having decided that he heard enough and been subject to too much embarrassment in these few moments, Shikamaru decided to step in. He audibly, on purpose, walked around the boulder and faced the two gossipers. Having enquired their names he found out they were called Matsuri and Fukata and from what he recalled they were Temari's students. As per protocol, and for some personal amusement, he sternly told them off for walking out of the camp without reporting and threw in a little threat of additional chores, also for personal amusement. He received a lot of satisfaction firstly from their awkward expressions when he found them and had a chat, and secondly from their horrified expression when he may have hinted that Temari will be informed of their misconduct.

He learned a vital lesson from that experience: that curiosity may after all be a first step to hell. Shikamaru was not very happy when he thought of running into Temari, since while petty gossip was just petty gossip it could still mess with his thoughts.

On the last note before retiring to bed that evening the thought that the days were becoming much chillier which made him wonder if he should not start wearing warmer clothes starting tomorrow.

* * *

_This chapter came out much longer than the first one - so happy about that. Although they are still quite short. But I'm working on that; hopefully they will get longer with time :) as I get into the habit of writing. _


End file.
